Advice for Couples with Different Values and Beliefs
Starting a relationship is easy. Making one last is the hard part. This can be especially difficult in couples who have different core values and beliefs. It is very important to share these beliefs with one another at the beginning of the relationship. If these are not things the two of you can compromise on, the relationship is probably not going to last or will always be full of strife. If this is something you can work with, read on for some tips to make your relationship harmonious.
When children are brought into a relationship where the parents share different beliefs, its important to discuss which beliefs are important to pass onto the children. Its also important to respect the other parents beliefs. It is possible to teach both systems to the child and allow them to decide which route they wish to take when they are of age. Perhaps the child will take on a whole different belief system than either of you. Its also important to respect your child’s belief system. Perhaps its important to mom to celebrate Easter, but dad is an atheist. Respect mom’s right to celebrate the holiday, but don’t judge dad for not wanting to celebrate the holiday. If the two of you attend church but they aren’t churches of the same religion or denomination, perhaps attend dad’s church one week and mom’s the next. This will also allow your child to explore different religious options. Even if one parent doesn’t agree with the other parent’s religion, it’s never a bad thing to learn something new about someone else. Perhaps by attending both churches you will realize your religions aren’t all that different and you can come to an even better compromise.
If you entire core belief value system is different, this can cause conflict when parenting. Perhaps one parent believes in spanking while the other doesn’t. Decide before the child is born on a good compromise. Perhaps spankings will only be given when the child has put themselves in grave danger, but all other punishments will be time outs.
There are ways to compromise when two parents disagree on values and beliefs. You just have to sit down and agree to disagree. Otherwise this can create a very stressful relationship.