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How to Process When Your Spouse Cheats

There are various reasons for which a spouse may feel inclined to make the tumultuous decision to cheat. It is a difficult situation to face, but know that it is not impossible.

 

There are many emotions that you will experience at this time. When I found out my husband of five years cheated on me, I was devastated, lonely, angry and sad all at the same time. I had to work through all of these emotions in order to not have a total meltdown!

 

Write out your feelings

You may not realize all of the feelings you have bottled up inside. Sit down, type or write out every thought that comes to your mind, but do not send it to your spouse. This will likely cause a lot of drama and will not have you feeling any better in the end. Keep the letter until you are ready to trash it. This will give an outlet for your feelings without hurting each other further in the process.

 

Determine if you can accept the indiscretion

How will this decision affect your future relationship? Will you try counselling? Is it something you can forgive? People have different reasons, relationships and tolerances and only you can determine together if this will change the course of your relationship.

 

Surround yourself with a positive support system

Whether it is family or close friends, surround yourself with people who can be there if you need a shoulder to cry on or who can help offer a much needed distraction. Talk your feelings out with them, share what is going on with your life, but remember they will be prompt to give their own advice. At the end of the day, it is you who will be affected most so take their advice, but consider your own as well.

 

Give yourself time

This is a wound that will not heal quickly or easily. Give yourself time to reflect on what happened. Do not expect to be a bright, cheery person overnight. Process it in whichever way you feels best for you.

2018-03-09T01:14:37+00:00 May 31st, 2016|Forgiveness, Uncategorized|